On the rough outer orbit of two of the worst evenings of my just over half-century of accumulated life, I find myself after a good day’s work in the company of a kindred spirit over good steak, crowned with two fine scallops, adorned with something red.
How can such pain mingle so seamlessly with such hilarity, such good company, such joy?
Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind.
—Sarah McLachlan
Those of us nursed and nourished on good decades are, arguably, poorly prepared for anguish, for loss.
We have no precedent for the madness, for the illogic, for the unbending chaos that comes on the lips of those we have loved, those whom we would love still if we were permitted.
What do we do then?
Sometimes, we pray. Often, we weep. Then, unprepared, we laugh in the company of those who know us, who love us, who remind us who we are and declare to us who we are not.
Work matters. Those with whom we build these strange, good towers matter more.
Occasionally, Providence—after a day that is not all about us but about the cause, the labour, the stretch—sets us a table.
Then we smile. We laugh. We tell our stories and those of others we have known. We fill our stomachs with bread, meat, and a little wine.
We touch a spot of goodness. We mingle there for a bit before we return to the night’s solitude, uncertainty, tears, trusting that—as has been true without exception for five decades—the sun will rise again on this morning that comes so quickly upon our inarticulate silence and our wondering ache.
Canter Bridge 
When one has experienced such pain it seems unbearable to witness the anguish of a friend facing a similar path. Yet, as has always been, God remains in His heaven and it seems hard to believe that somehow all is right with the world. We are not priviledged to know The Plan but I continue to trust that there is one. I stand by what I said … you are a blessing … deal with it.
You are so aptly describing the journey of the breakup of a life that you were prepared to spend a lifetime in! I’ve been there too. What a roller coaster. You WILL get through this, with the support of friends and loved ones. Praise God that the church these days is so much more supportive, tho still not quite understanding. Thank you for putting into words feelings I lived through many years ago!
God is good! When he knows that we can not go any further, he gives us a hug through the comforting words of a good friend. He gives us a rest through the laughter, food, beautiful nature and the prayers of those that know us and have also been broken and healed. Sounds like you were truly in the “garden of the gods” this week. God is NOT done with you yet, but preparing you for the next leg of the race.