Canter Bridge

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Authors who write about debt and getting out of it, overspending and overcoming it, tend to fall into two categories: there is the P.E. coach who is going to whip you into shape, shout to you that you can do one more crunch, and perhaps throttle you if you screw up.

Then there are the understanding therapists who want to help you understand the source of your compulsion and assemble around you a small team of trusted advocates who will stick with you through your relapses and help you to get well.

Olivia Mellan is a therapist.

Her book declares that upfront, so I am hardly outing a softy with this observation. If you want somebody to threaten your feeble, self-loathing little overspending life with an early demise if you don’t cut up that last credit card, this book is not for you. But if you want somebody who understands you or your overspending partner, Mellan’s Overcoming Overspending may be the one. You may need to supplment it, however, with something a bit more stern.

Mellan herself is a `recovering overspender’, 12-Step language that alerts you to the origin of her interest in this topic and the remedies she’ll propose. Where others will begin with lurid descriptions of the living hell that absorbs the indebted masses—I do not intend to make light of this society-wide but deeply personal ill—Mellan’s first chapter is entitled `What is Overspending All About?’

In my judgement, her strong suit is probing gently at the scarcity of soul that generates overspending as a futile attempt to fill the void.

Her second section is perhaps even more collegial: `How Spenders’ Partners Can Help’, followed by `Tools and Techniques You Both Can Use’. Pay attention to these section titles, since Mellan (or her editor) is what I call an `Honest Titler’. The names of her sections and chapters tell you exactly what to expect. Significantly, it is not until the book’s fourth of five chapters that we read `How Overspenders Can Overcome’, a remarkable postponement—though not an evasion—of the spender’s responsibility.

This is a classic therapeutic approach and may well be what you and your partner need. The final section—`The Long and Winding Road’—suggests that you’ll suffer relapses along the way but you’ll get to your destination if you and your partner keep at it.

Given the sea of get-out-of-debt literature that is available, what ought we to make of Mellan’s opportunity. I consider it a valuable tool for those who love an overspender, less so for the overspender himself or herself. Mellan is particularly good on what `hoarders’ bring to the mix and how the overspender’s partner is likely to change in order to compensate for the compulsion that comes here under review.

The overspender will benefit from reading Overcoming Overspending, but is likely to need some backbone from a supplementary work.